don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
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Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
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I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
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