piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
