tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
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