when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
