it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
