im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
