Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
