You're completely useless in the revolution.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
