Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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