i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
