And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
