Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
it was like eating out sand paper
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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