maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Shame - the story of my life.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
