margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
