Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Randomize
