Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
