Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
