lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
