We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
