people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
As shirtless as possible
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
