Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
our cab driver is having phone sex.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
