well I can't set my house on fire every night
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
