How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
