Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize