Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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