I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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