Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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