May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
