i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize