My underwear smells like fireworks.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
