you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I don't deserve a penis
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
