do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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