You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
