I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
