I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
