I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize
