Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize