I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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