so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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