p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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