I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I think I just sharted jello shots
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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