yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
