I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
