You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Randomize
