State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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