shes about as inviting as chlamydia
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
