any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
