Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
