Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
