I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I miss vodka workout Fridays
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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