All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
