After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Randomize