The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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