dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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