brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
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